I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
