hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize