32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
