Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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