Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
