Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
