I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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