Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
