i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
