all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
