you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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