i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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