you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
