My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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