I'm really into asian looking animals
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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