hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
