somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
