I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize