The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
