All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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