I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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