so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
