I'll bet she douches with gravy.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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