I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
