I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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