She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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