if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
