there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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