my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
