we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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