y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
