last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
