i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
