Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Don't EVER smell your tampon
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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