Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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