Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
