bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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