even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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