ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
