Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
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Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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