Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize