I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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