I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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