I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
did you just send me my own nude
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
