You're completely useless in the revolution.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
