in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
