thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
