Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
