All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
