We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
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i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
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Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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