i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
