part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
