so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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