I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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