there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
