I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
