She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
