its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
