Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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