Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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