I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
