You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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